Email: Love in Times of No Sex

Subject: Re: lost in translation
Date: Mon, 08 Mar 2004 10:17:44 -0800

Hi Moonglow,

I'm happy that you continue to write to me, and that means I'm in your thoughts. Not "out of sight, out of mind." Maybe "out of my mind," :-) but at least not forgotten.

Moonglow wrote:
>
> hi - saw Lost in Translation - you said you found it confusing, or you got lost in it
>
> what did you mean?

In one of the many things I'm always writing, I think I used the phrase "lost in translation" or a play on it as a reference to the movie's name, but I never actually saw the movie.

Guess what I wrote wasn't obvious. Sorry for the confusion. If I run across where I wrote that, I'll try to revise it to be more clear.

I would like to see it, but I think the movie is probably too sexually charged for me. I am very happy that Sofia Coppola is making a splash as a director. One more step for women!

> here is what I think he whispers to her - what do you think?
>
> "You know when I said that it never gets easy?"
> "When you write about it, you tell the truth. Okay?


Like I said, I didn't see the movie, so I don't know what he said. But what you wrote reminds me that I love writing because if I'm careful not to rely on precanned phrases and to expand densities as I write, I am able to find out what I really think, and therefore I am eventually able write the truth instead of what some internal script or some desire to please someone external seems to be trying to program me to write.

I've been searching my email to try to see where I might have said something about the movie. I found this in a blog post that I saved:

> Saturday we saw "Lost in Translation," which is the most
> beautiful movie I've seen in a long time.

Do you agree?

The writer of the blog I just quoted (which was titled The Julie/Julia Project) got a big book deal out of her blog. Inspiring . . .. Maybe that's why I now have three blogs? Can't hurt, eh?

> "Life is precious and everything is holy."
> - Jack Kerouac

My counterquote to the Jack Kerouac quote:

Life is precious and love is holy but anything that
isn't from love is not holy. -Roseanne Sullivan

God is love -- 1 John 4:7-21
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.
Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.
Whoever does not love does not know God, because GOD IS LOVE.

While I was looking for the Lost in Translation reference I also found the article below in my saved email, which is more about what is love and what is not, and which therefore is sin.

This columnist expresses my thoughts about what is wrong about sex outside of marriage: the harm to yourself and to others makes it unloving. I can't imagine how anyone who has danced the "I'll have sex with you but I won't love you" pas de deux, where one person has to pretend not to want to be possesive in hopes of keeping the other person from being scared away, can not be scarred. There is a real union that happens in sex even if the partners don't know, like, or even can stand each other. And it is a kind of hell on earth to have to walk through this life connected that way without real intimacy, to multiple partners.

Even before returning to being a Christian, I made up my mind after my divorce to not settle for anything less
than love. If I only knew what that would mean. Eventually I realized I had to settle for no sex, but that's actually acceptable and preferable to the alternative. "Love will get you through times without sex better than sex will get you through times without love." Don't remember who said that, but I agree. Substitute God for Love, and that works to my satisfaction.

Another of my favorite quotes is:
Mysticism isn't sublimated sex.
Sex is sublimated mysticism.
Mother Theresa Biliki, D.C.

Here is the article:

---------- begin quote --------------------------------
It's Never Over Until It's Over

By Mary Beth Bonacci
HERALD Columnist
...
We should probably start by defining sin. All sin is, quite simply, a failure to love. God put us on this earth to respect His image and likeness in every human person. That's our purpose, that's what makes us happy, and that's what keeps the world humming along smoothly.

Unfortunately, due to that little original sin problem, we all have a tendency to want to ignore the image and likeness of God, either in ourselves or in others, in order to achieve some selfish, short-term goal that seems sure to make us happy, but ultimately doesn't.

Every time we sin, every time we fail to love, we do damage. We damage ourselves, we damage other people,
and worst of all, we damage our relationship with God. After all, we come closer to Him by doing what He does: loving. And we move further away from Him by failing to do that.

...

The little sins are called venial sins. Whenever we lie, or gossip,or act selfishly in any of the hundreds of myriad little ways we find to be selfish, we chip away at our relationship with God. We become just a little less like Him. And that hurts us.

The big sins, on the other hand, are called mortal sins. When we do (or risk) serious damage to ourselves or others, we're getting out the big guns. We're cutting ourselves off from God. When we kill, when we steal, when we bear "false witness" sufficient to ruin someone's life, we're in the realm of mortal sin. Sexual sins are also mortal sins. Why? Mortal sin does, or risks, serious damage. Take a look around you. It doesn't take a genius to see the damage sexual sin has done in our society.

...

Mortal sin, deliberately committed, kills the life of grace in the soul. It cuts us off from God. God still loves us. But we, like the prodigal son, have wandered off. We have removed ourselves from His presence.

The Church teaches that mortal sin, if unrepented at the time of death, precludes us from heaven. What? Just because we commit one little mortal sin, God condemns us to hell? Wrong. When we freely commit a mortal sin, we are making a choice. We are choosing "not God." At he time of death, if that decision still stands, God is simply honoring our choice. He is giving us what we asked for "not God." And, once this world passes away, everything "not God" is Hell.

Of course, remember the overriding principle. God is madly, crazy, head-over-heels in love with us. He wants us ” all of us” to be saved and spend eternity with Him. He doesn't force our hand. He doesn't ravish, but He does woo. He entices us to come closer to Him. And He waits. He waits for us to come back to Him in confession, in the sacrament of love He gave us just for this purpose. In the sacrament, He takes our sin away. He restores His grace "His life" in us. And He gives us the strength to continue in His love.

Yes, mortal sin cuts us off from God. We need to avoid it, and all sin, like the plague that it is. And we need to encourage others to do the same. But if and when we fall, we need to remember His love, confess immediately, and get back on track. Because, with God's love, it's never over until it's over.

------------ end quote ------------------------

With love, from your sister/friend,

Roseanne


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Moonglow wrote:
>
> hi - saw Lost in Translation - you said you found it confusing,
or you got lost in it
>
> what did you mean?
>
> here is what I think he whispers to her - what do you think?
>
> "You know when I said that it never gets easy?"
> "When you write about it, you tell the truth. Okay?
>
> "Life is precious and everything is holy."
> - Jack Kerouac